Day 2 Me Vs STARS system( FYI: STudent Automated Registration System)

Score now is: 0 to 2

For one whole day, i have been keeping tabs on the system, but no avail. Still no free slot in the class i want. Am I destined for a 8 hr continous marathon? It's ok if i skip lunch every monday to reach my lessons. The people complaining and scolding me won't b me anywayz, it will be my grandmas, dad, mum & the doctors.(Time to time i change doctors because the other becames a mind-reader before i enter the clinic, at that time you will know you've been there too many times, sure malu.) What i am terrified of is that i have 3 presentations on the same day. My presentation skills stinks already. If i was to present 3 times continously in A day, i will sure ta-bao. Now that serves no purpose right? So i am comtemplating of asking the professor if i could either stay an extra semester, although it may happen even if i don't ask, or take the module another semester? But counting on the stick-in-the-mud school mechanism, no way.

So i hereby declare a D in my graduation certificate!
Cheers!

Self-reflection time.
Am I independant enough?
Well i stayed in the hostel before. Did my own laundry and washed my own cups. But how much did I depend on my neighbours? Sub-zero. But how did I feel? Very lonely.
Suppose this is not a good measure. Then what is?

Okay. I can go out with friends or by myself. But i must admit for alot of social interactions i rely on others. Said already i'm not a people person. That is a weakness. I just sign up mentoring which i am regretin now. Argh, so self-conflicting. I need to learn to open up alot.

Juz cut my hair. No pic, juz imagine. Short on the sides. Diagonal increasing length towards centre. Not that song. Ok? Bet you can't imagine. Haha

Anyway i am not going to this year ZPOP. Surprised? yap. No one's going with me. So sad. Now i know i'm depended on friends. But independance is supposed to be good rite? Even Yenni can go watch concert by herself. But too bad, i'm not her.

Haha... forgot to say something yesterday. On the 18 July was Cathay's as in the Cinema Cathay birthday so there was free tickets!!! Haha. Sorry people that i didn't inform. It was in the papers so partly also not my fault lah. Didn't have a chance to inform my movie-loving buddies. Was watching two movies with a 1 & 1/2 hr break. New record.

Anyway i shall blah about what i watched and you guys can regret missing out a free ticket chance. After all $7-8 ticket is equal to 2 wanton mee, not exactly cheap, or else i won't go JB to watch I.D ;P

Watched Fantansic 4 and Crying out Love from The middle of The World. First is everyone knows and 2nd movie is the one Stef Sun sang the song in it in the Taiwan version "Wo Ye Heng Xiang Ta". Sweet first puppy love movie. You get to see a guy cry 3 times. ( How i know? I cried with him. So funny. When the girl cried, me was -_-. When the guy cried, me was ;_; .) And the waterboys drama boy was the main actor. So it made ithe movie more funny when he did all the silly things. If you aren't a soap opera and patient person, don't try this movie. I won't advise the Fan4 either. Was quite slow in the beginning.

By the way, this is the FIRST time i saw so many ah gongs ah mas pai tuo-ing. Haha... they all snapped up tickets too. Were in the cinema with them watching Fan4 at 1030am! I and JY were late already. Just imagine what time they quene? They were so adorable! But i wonder if they understood the movie. Afterall it is based on a comic on our time. The second movie i wasn;t that lucky. Ended up in a seat behind a fat working class guy. Problem is = shouldn't he be working? Anyway it won't matter much if he didn't keep toilet trip-ing and insulted JY when she accidently hit his bald head. What lor!

Ah.. schools starting... ah...
Now at home rotting... wonder how can i spend the rest of my remaining days... haha. sounds like i'm dying ;P
but then if i don't pick up momentum to study soon, i will X_X.
Should i go out or try to reach level 25 of the maplesea game? (hey although it aims at younger generation, but no one says i can't play).
Sure my friends will say go out, but we have gone to every big shopping centre. Maybe we should go town centres. They aren't as bad, sometimes the best clothes can be found.

Thank God the NKF thing has some ending. Hopefully after the rain and wind comes out the sun. The new management's going to have a hell of time convincing people again. Durai, wonder if you knew your actions can destroy a plenty. If any more money in the deposit had been touched by the bad management, more people will die and more people disappointed. A good reputable organisation reduced now to a huge scam with a new guy on the wheel. It's like a mechanic trying to fix a car after it went through the compressor. Super tough. Good luck!

Anyway this NKF incident has seemed to prove my Dad's point about the end of Singapore. Don't ask me how it links but he can link. Maybe that's why i always fail GP. My points never link. Haha. Now on a daily basis, he rattles about the low employment, disappearing investors, enviroment problems and politics.(which at times we had to shut him up at that point. Didn't want him to be caught for "theories".) However he really got me wondering... Are we really on a road to nothign?

The below blog is of opinon and holds no responsibilty.

Firstly I like to refer to the reports of the NKF court cases.

Kudos to SPH, their lawyer and the people who found out all NKF disgraces. I think for the last 5 years. There were time and time of apology notices in the papers of people apologising for defaming NKF. Now you have redressed all their injustices. NKF really is misusing the funds.

Years ago, my uncle told me of his friend who went to the NKF head office. I remember the phrase he said. " The NKF head lives in a office of gold while the people downstairs are hanging on to life." Now this phrase is so proven. Dang you NKF guys!

This morning just got scolded for donating. However I don't regret donating. I know when I donated, I truthfully wanted the patients to have my small financial assistance out of my mini allowance. Now after learning the major and excessive allowance of the NKF heads, I understand what it means to have a organisation lead by hungry wolves. Even Disney Big Bad Wolf can't meet their standards. How did S'pore have an so-called non-profit organisation lead by xin su bu zheng de ren( people with selfish desires)??? It is a disgrace to S'pore.

Yesterday after sending off my friend at the airport, my group of friends sat at BK talking about the case. It turns out that NKF is "encouraging" their patients to donate too. WHAT THE HECK! AREN'T THEY THE ONES NEEDING HELP? Every year their staff approach thousands people for monthly income donations, giro donations. Even children are roped in in their schools with NKF cards. What is this situation? Not only are the NKF heads selfish, they are using people of all ages. Wonder if this is considered child labour, using of primary school children to get income.

The NKF have used the compassion of Singaporeans time and time again. What are they thinking? This is like the biggest fraud case in the world. A whole country's population being tricked for their compassion. Especially the Children's Medical Fund and Cancer Fund. Both these pull the most delicate strings of the heart. However what are they doing?Flying first class, sitting Benz, etc. Probably dining at high-class restaurants too while their patients are eating biscuits for dinner. I don't care even if you are sitting the first class of the budget airlines. Don't you guys know the teaching every grain of rice matters? Every cent counts.Didn't you guys have basic moral education??? I'm sure the primary schools will let you have a sit among their students for classes.

I also heard that most government bodies and schols are forced in the monthly donation scheme. REAL scheming. Even the canteen aunties are being cheated. What good is a golden tap to the head anyway? In this case he should have got a diamnond one. Better to HIT his head on! One time sucide!

Every year dozens of foreign artisties are invited to perform for charity. Now even i feel embrassed by this act of NKF. I think most Singaporeans will feel the same. How are our artisties like Stef Sun, Ah-Du, JJ and Tanya going to face their peers and career overseas now? This so-called charity organisation has betrayed their trust, our trust and disgraced our country. Why can't they learn abit from the Japanese at this point about disgrace? How are we going to face the world?

All the above seems bad enough but that is not the end. The worse is the patients. They are being denied of full treatment, full access of treatment. Now I understand why some people rather choose to go without help than die knowing the injust in NKF.

I really hope the government would bring forward a fraud or corruption case to NKF for the patients. At least get the control of the money or we may lose them through transfers to Swiss banks. Surely now we won't want them to enjoy their retirement in tip-top lurxury!

I also breech that Mrs Goh change her stand for her and her husband's sake. Or soon her husband's honourary and high-respected reputation will be brought down by her. What's $600,000? Peanuts? Ya, peanuts in compared to how he spends on other lurxuries. Do you know what $600,000 can mean to people in Singapore? An education, a home, a full meal for life, a chance at living. SO this peanuts are maintaining a golden tap boy and not a whole class of poor children? These peanuts are letting this man stay in top hotels, riding first class rides and not helping more families? So this 600,000 is being used to maintain a man at the exchange of a few lifes daily! Maybe you have never lived in poverty, maybe you have been too indulged in lurxury to see the need to cap them. But take a serious look around you. The world is not perfect, why do you have to make it worse? Starting to wonder if Li Sheng Jie would have smashed the handphone if he knew what the organisation is like.

Okay. I think i really broke down fue to stress. Maybe i'm not a people person. Social gatherings and responsibilities to friends can sometimes eat away your soul if you aren't careful.

Tommorrow's the day Carol goes Australia but her present is not half done. Some how i seemed to become in charge of it. So there's the pressure source. It's actually equal to the stress of a project. I really should get a new viewpoint of this stuff.

Anyway about my breakdown, i actually jumped up at 9.30, messenged my friend to go Malaysia. In less than 1 hour, we were heading to Woodlands. Before 12 we were in Johor Bahru. Haha. Great right? Went to a mall there which i didn't bother to ask its name. Bought a skirt, lotion and a comic. Also watched Initial D. Damn Nice!!!!! Especially in its original soundtrack! Cantonese! Okay i don't understand cantonese but its like so different feeling! The speed chases and effects rock! And the main guy whoch is Jay was so natural. Dun tink anyone can replace him in this role. Shawn and Edision were so gum and cool. Especially Edision whose role had more emotion in his love of cars. They were all great actors! Not forgetting Anothony. Although he was a drunkard, he was so expressive even when he was half-awake. Those who haven't watch should go and have a peek. Even if you don't like cars, hate speeding or don't fancy the guys, you can watch for their seriousness in acting.

Now im back. Pressure hitting head. What to do?

The world's turning. The world's changing. We change too.

Today we learnt what happen in other countries, what happen in our homeland, what's happening to us. The world's a real gloomy place. It's filled with AIDs, cancer, heart problems, terrorism, chemical warfare, etc. But in turn our imprvement has taught us compassion, thought and care.

Now the cancer charity show 2 is showing. Actually i wish i would not keep wanting to watch it. Everytime i recall what happen to my own grandpas. We can't prevent cancer cells from getting to us. Not all of us can go through its treatments, even for some in the early stages. Maybe all we can do is to help them in support, finanicial or emotional.

BUT actually i got a question. IS there a support group for the families? I come from one. Everyone comes from one in a way or other. I know the pain lingers on even after the person is gone. My grandmother still has not recovered. Every week we all try to go back for dinner with her, just to accompany her. I ran away this week. I didn't go. Actually everytime i see her, i feel sad. The spark in her eyes had ceased. All there is a dark cloud. All i wish now for is actually for my grandma to go play mahjong. She loves playing mahjong and is always happy after playing.

Tired...
Just finish shopping and brainstorming( okay not totally me brainstorming).
Just went orchard there. Oh ya there was some people doing charity drive for Outreach -something for unemployed and astrayed people. Actually nothing special but the guy that came up to me was so weird. He kept trying to cringe up his face to look pitiful while explaining the drive. I didn't laugh or twitch my face. Thank God. Donate a 5.( though end of the day was kind of regretting.) I was going to buy a farewell cum b-day present and 2 overdue presents. In the end, for the last present, we had only $27 which was 2.20 short. It became a stand still. Either my friends went without dinner or we went without the present. Of course you would say there is always a Atm. But then we won't think of withdrawing so much in a day. Anyway it was a kick shopping. I didn't expect to have so much fun shopping with a friend that just came back from UK and a friend that i hardly spoke to even when we meet. Totally forgot my cough and phelgm which just came back. Tell you what we got. A cute pink handbag with a bead bangle for one fashionable gal while a green knit jacket for a stylo-maylo gal. For the most important present, stil needs tons of collecting and gathering. This will a BIG project!!

Now i'm kinda mixed up. Trying to remember the blog i had in my head in the car ride home. Seems the car is my blogging spot. If only my PC could travel along with super power wireless.

This few days were kind of pissed off by something real stupid and beyond my control. Why the hell was Ruien chosen to sing the NDP2005 song? I always thought the singer they choose would have a standing and brought pride to S'pore. But now, oh no. Our standards are dropping like our economy's weakening. Taufik's okay. If they didn't cancel the asia idol thingy, he would be asia-nally famous. He's THE Singapore Idol. What can I say. He's become an icon of Spore. But Ruien? When she first came out her album, half of Taiwan hated her. Her audience reponse was worse than the girl Jay kissed in Qing Tian which later joined 7 flowers. So she's acted in some shows, but her roles are so similar -- Flower vase. Where have our other local prides gone to? Corriane May is the only Sporean I know that made it in US and there's singers like Ah Du, Sun Ho, Joi Chua, etc. Okay maybe the some people have grown tired of the bimbo figurines and inflatable dollies. Now time to see a life moving one. Maybe it sounds harsh but try being pissed, disappointed, heartbroken and angry at the same time.

I was watching the NKF cancer show earlier. Switched it off at a crucial point. When JP and FX
started Lao Shu Ai Da Mi. Rather more disappointed at what the kids were wearing. Feels worse than a failed children's programme. And i really wonder if they had to train to sing a song that has been sang so many times i'm sick of it. (to the extent even if my idols would sing, i would turn the radio off) Made the part so bimbo-ly. Well come on, one's a NTU student and the other's been trying to prove she's got some matter up there. Why are you 2 singing that? Both young and still incapable of a better performance. If your seniors can take up more strenous acts, why are you 2 drinking coffee in a cafe? I even thought that maybe they hadn't gone through the pain of losing a loved one due to cancer. But it could not be so, because cancer is everywhere in Spore. 1 out of 4 that dies daily is due to cancer. Unless they born supernaturally blessed, why couldn't they give more?

Okay maybe the show pulled at the correct strings of my heart. When i watched Zhang Shan Wei's speech, i nearly cried. I imagined myself there on the stage and made a imagined speech for myself. But i found out i couldn't go pass my first line. My first line was said long ago when i was primary 3, in a canteen after my ah gong dropped me off, beside a classmate WX, when we were talking about our grandparents. (WX had lost both sides of her grandparents by the way.) My first line (which is also one of my most beautiful spoken out lines at age 9) would be " I am one of the most fortunate people in the world, because i (still have at 9 yrs old, now had) two sets of grandparents with me."