Presently --> Voiceless
Almost --> senseless

Went ktv singing on the last day of exams. Went too high pitch. No like this. Regrets? Hmm... Nope. Haha B-)

I'm finished with my exams. Along my study route, i haved been bugged, pestered, sadden, shocked, tired and hindered. But i got through, VICTORIOUS!! At least i hope so. If I fail any sibject, i know it will hit hard on me next semester. Sometimes i don't understand. When i first stepped to kindergarten, friends was just who you play with, sit with and tease with. When you are 20, friends aren't that simple no more. Why? You will start to expect more understanding from them. You seem to expect they use more rational and emotional aspects of thought at times and not rash, self-concious decisions. Throughout my exam retreat of a month, some of my friends only knew how to bug me to go out. When i lost someone, none of them appeared but they only appeared to tell me when they have been and what they did. How they enjoyed themselves. I know that they have different perspectives and have not been hurt yet. They lived in a world of safety around them. Maybe my world of safety collapsed years ago. Maybe i'm different. Maybe i have most of the bad luck in the world to experience sad things continously without barely a breather in between. The world's definitely not perfect!

Today's the 21st.
I have a question. Why must the people near me go?

On the 13th before my first exam, i picked up a phonecall. Next all i remember was i was running into Bedok stadium looking for my brother. The last thing i remember was that my cousin was crying. Somewhere in between i touched a cold cold hand. A hand that seemed to have been placed in a freezer.

Nowhere in between i felt like a true loss. To me to the last day there was a person that watched me grow up but was not the person i knew. His cheeks were sunk in. His eyes with no soul. He was not the loving Humpty Dumpty that i had growed used to. But i knew clearly i was running again. The last time i ran, now again i'm running.

He's been a hard fighter, a tough cookie. For 2 whole years he never give up. For 2 years it never seemed to be the time. Til the 13th.

I admit that on the 13th, i did continuously say in my heart, if it will reduce your pain, go. But i don't understand why? Why muz it always be cancer? Why muz it be people around me. My last time was 3 yrs and 4 mths ago. Why now again? Why can't he just wait till Isabelle reaches one month old? Then he would be able to see his great-grandchild. Then he can see two more grandchildren by his bed. But nothing can change now.

Miss ya both, Ah Gong s!

Sign.. my exams are comin up real soon. like the 14 apr is my ge then followed by economics(which i flop at), acc 2 which is majorly impt for next year, biz law which is totally out of my field and IT which tests on general knowledge. Hmm... so what am i taking? Soon i will have to be off blogging til 26 april, my last paper. Sign..

I missed the new mv on tv again. Not because i knew the time or what, but i had to hand over the remote to my sister so she can watch "when disaster strikes" Okay i have nothing against the show but she changed channel the moment the mv started. So up till today i have only sen the 5s in front and 30s behind. Oh ya the MV is JJ's new song Mu Nai Yi. Anyway from my 35s analysis, i don't really think it's original enough, more like a mix of mv plots. The beginning was like Di Er Tia Tang and the ending was like Xin Xiao Qi's MV(the one with Lin Youwei). Starting to think the Tai Zhen Xiao MV Von sang at KTV(which was the yi qian ling yi ge ye) was much better.Heehee, not to be offending but a noncatchy beginning won't be useful. But i like the new song 89757 idea. Just imagine of having a robot to accompany you when you're lonely. No need to match schedules with others, no need to agrue on when to go, what to do,etc. Just press a button and the robot would be there. The only fault is how to put feelings into the robot to match yours. Really like the Jap robot fest. All the neat robotics there, with inputed feelings but that won't be my IT exam topic. Sign... back to the books